After another night out at a mediocre Italian restaurant in Seoul and after cooking up our own spaghetti at home, I’ve decided to offer this list of totally free advice for anyone planning on opening an Italian restaurant in Korea.
1. Pasta comes in all shapes and sizes, please buy something other than spaghetti. It will set you apart. Penne, bow ties, spirals, ravioli, tortellini, anything. It isn’t even hard to find. Just go to Home Plus.
2. Don’t serve Tobassco. Grind up some red chilis into flakes. Not sure where you will find the whole chilies though.
3. Invest in some pepper grinders for fancy topping at the table. I’d prefer if you found some comically large ones in the same family as this whisk, but that’s up to you.
4. Cut your menu in half. then do it again. Offering all possible permutations of chicken, shrimp, bacon and oysters with garlic, tomato and cream sauce is boring. There are tons of great Italian dishes that are still really simple and can be made in mass quantities that use other ingredients. If you aren’t sure about cutting down your menu, please refer to any Kitchen Nightmares episode.
5. While you’re cutting it down and adding something other than spaghetti, how about some lasagna or giant meatballs? Or chicken parmesan? I bet Koreans would love that. Just call it chicken cutlet with cheese and tomatoes.
6. Serve cocktails. You can still offer some bad, overpriced wine for people who are desperate, but give people a selection of cocktails. And I’m not talking about whole bottles of Macallen 12 year and Johnny Walker Black. Single drinks at reasonable prices. You’ll make a killing.
7. Stop chilling your red wine. Immediately. Please pass this tip on to every other establishment in Korea.
8. Have someone put just a little bit of care into the music playlist. Don’t put John Mayer or Norah Jones on repeat and don’t put on whatever playlist or radio station that inserts Eminem after the salad arrives. It kills the mood.
9. And if you offer some free bread and cheap olive oil in a fancy container the foriengers will come running on word of mouth.
I ask only for an occasional free meal or, in the case of wild success, a dish named after me. Make sure it includes bacon and plenty of cheese.
From your blog, to their ears. However, if they have a 5 alarm, spicy minestrone, I’m willing to overlook the fact that the rest of the menu is spaghetti this or spaghetti that. LOL!
Definitely agree with number 1. Less spaghetti and more of other pastas. More shapes please.
3. I would also love to see pepper grinders on the tables or better have staff put the pepper on your dish when requested. Love the action of grinding the pepper.
6. Yes! The wines are generally bad and overpriced.
7. And always served at the wrong temperature. Too damn cold.
Generally I avoid Korean run Italian restaurants unless it’s recommended. Much better if there’s someone from Italy or Siciliy in the kitchen. I like Antonios. They have a great wine list.
Keep blogging.
I needed a good laugh this morning. Growing up in Milwaukee it sounds way familiar to me: the Wisconsin state model for EYE-talian restaurants…
It’s raining here in New York. this post made me smile.
Have you noticed how little pasta is cooked ‘al dente’? I know several Italian restaurant owners and they have all told me 9 out of 10 ‘al dente’ pasta will be sent back to the kitchen with the comment “it’s not cooked enough”. The same reason goes for the bombardment of sauce on all the pasta dishes.
Unless you’re willing to pay for true authentic Italian, that’s what you’re going to get and I find it reasonable, even though I can’t particularly say I like it. Restaurants will have to cater to local tastes in order to make a profit. (Like most Korean restaurants in western countries being immensely bland and non-spicy in order not to offend mild taste buds.)
My, aren’t WE in a mood! Made me laugh, but this also does sound like the USA of my childhood….a long, long time ago…and I’m grateful for every food critic who called out for change! Storm the barricades!
so which mediocre restaurant inspired this posting?
It was written after going to a place that I think was called The Italian Plate across from the CGV near Hyewha station, but I drew inspiration from a couple of equally mediocre places.
WELL DONE! especially number 9. good grief. also, perhaps fresh green salad with something more than half of a cherry tomato would draw the hordes.
Oh I totally forgot about salads. That’s a great point. And dressing that isn’t mayonnaise based.
Hi, I applaud your blog for informing people, very interesting article, keep up it coming
Tabasco. That’s T-A-B-A-S-C-O.
Thanks for the advice.
You forgot to mention stop making the spaghetti sauce with catsup. That’s catsup. K-E-T-C-H-U-P.